Uncomfortable in my safe zone.

Horoscope (Taurus): You're intrigued by someone from a different culture -- and they're ready to talk. (what? that's not even close to being true!)

It's over.

Maybe not completely - but we made a good size of a dent. J, who's totally not a sorry person (she says so herself), said sorry to T. And she didn't want to - she told me herself - but T pretty much trapped her in a corner and strangled her until she said it.

Figuratively, of course.

Sure, I talk to T, but I'm far from forgiving D. It's a messy story and an even messier fight, so I'll save the details for a rainy day. A rainy day about seventy years from now.

D tries to make amends and talk to me, but no way, Jose. I would rather make a speech in front of practically the whole town friday night!

Oh wait, I already am.

Anyway, I do admit that I kind of miss D's friendship. But it feels like the times we laughed, talked, made fun of people and the time I let her literally cry on my shoulder was for nothing, and that makes me pissed. She treats me like I was no importance to her at all, and whether we're only fourteen or not...you don't treat people that way.

So it's off with her head!

Just kidding.

I'm super tired - even though today was the second-to-last day of school. We barely did anything, except for watch movies and sleep. Okay, I took one exam but that was a breeze, people.

Tomorrow I have like three exams, so no sleeping there. BUT TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, WOOT WOOT. PARTY, PARTY, GO DRINK & SMOKE AND GET IN TROUBLE. WE'RE GRADUATING!

And speaking of grad, I'm still upset and nervous and scared about making a speech. It's so fucking stupid. Plus, I'm not even done with it. crap crap crap shit shit shit.

Guess I should finish writing it. later.

Take that, B*itch!

Horoscope (Taurus): It looks like you are going to meet your match today! You two have a real future.

Would you consider being (one of) the eighth grade salutatorians an honor?

Sure. Despite almost demeaning your efforts of being the best in your class and bumped down with the humiliating title of "second best", it's not so bad.

EXCEPT FOR THE STUPID FUCKING SPEECH I HAVE TO MAKE.

No, not only do I have to MAKE a stupid speech, I have to WRITE it.

Have I ever mentioned that I have horrible phobia with public speaking? Because if not, I'm saying it now. And again. I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PUBLIC SPEAKING.

Maybe, by some strange, mysterious miracle, I will be cured of my fear and everything will go perfectly smooth. Please, please, PLEASE, God? I'm begging you! I hardly ever ask for anything! Well, hardly ever. Like not usually.

Anyways, I gave out invitations for my awesomely awesome grad party (at a pond!) today during study hall and the super bitches T and D totally started dissing me. I mean, C'MON PEOPLE! Was that really necessary? Just because you weren't invited doesn't mean that you have to be mean to you. It's your own fault anyway!

Well, they won't get under my skin, those stupid delusional hoes. They can go be in their little "it" group have their shallow, stupid fun. I'd rather be at home, blogging. And blogging some more. AND EATING PAYDAY CANDY BARS BECAUSE THEY'RE THE BEST!

So, ha.

WHAT a rip-off!

I'm going to kill Chuck Bass.

And for all of you drama junkies who watch Gossip Girl religiously (like I do) every Monday nights would know that tonight was the season finale.

And let's admit it, season and series finales can be heartbreaking and and joyful at the same time.

Yes, it was totally sad when Serena and Dan broke up for good and then they still danced at S's mom's wedding (in fact, they were the last ones to get off the dance floor).

Yes, it was very nice to see Chuck Bass take a turn for the good for once, and open his heart up to Blair. And for once, she let him in.

And I mean, I've been rooting for those two ever since Blair lost it to Chuck in the back of his limo. They belong together, in my honest opinion.

And then Chuck's flying asshole of a dad (I can't believe Lily VAN DER WOODSEN. She should've stayed with effing Rufus. Gosh!) has to open his big fat mouth and make Chuck change his mind set and summer plans, and starts flirting with some ho named Amelia.

Damn you, Mr. Bass.

And of course Blair was flirting with some random dude on the runway while waiting for her flight, but c'mon people! It's not like she was planning to leave Chuck! You heard her talking about him with Serena earlier, you know what I'm talking about.

I guess we all should've known that the Bass family shouldn't be trusted.

Does that mean the newly wedded Mrs. Bass made the right decision? No, but it's been twenty years. Too bad Lily listens to her daughter more than she does her heart.

And what was with the ending, with Nate hanging with Serena and Dan with Vanessa? That's totally cliche, if you ask me. I didn't care much for V and N, really, but S and D belong together. Well, sort of. S was pretty much delusional but I guess if it weren't for Georgina they wouldn't even be in this mess.

I guess that's enough of me, talking about Gossip Girl when I should be getting my beauty rest. Laters!

Change can be good.

Horoscope for the day (Taurus): Don't take any financial risks today. They're not likely to pay off. Play it safe.

Usually, I do play it safe.

Last night I had a nightmare. Not really that big of a shocker, despite the fact that I hardly ever dream, and when I do, it's a bunch of nonsense and jumbled up colors and scenes and people. I never remember what actually happened when I wake up.

But last night I dreamt that I was forced to stay after school for some unknown reason, and when I kept asking people, they told me it was for eighth grade graduation. Which is Friday, and it's Monday.

I started flipping out because I didn't have my shoes, my gown, my hair done, or my dress (well I had a dress, but not my dress) with me.

I called my mom and she brought me my friend's green converses, which looked stupid and didn't match. But she still forgot my gown, so I couldn't even graduate.

I"m convinced that my dream was probably me venting my anxiousness and worries about graduation, but I've been treating it like it's no big deal. And it's really not, truthfully. But I guess I'm more nervous than I thought.

Anyway, I plan to be ready Friday night for grad. I really don't want to be caught unprepared.

So today I've decided to actually start being healthier. I don't want to look like a whale in my swimsuit this year, so I'm going to start exercising. Starting today!

I mean, for lunch I had an apple and some celery w/ peanut butter, which is very healthy (for me) and half a chicken patty. Then after school I had some strawberries, and for supper homeade french fries and chicken. I still need my protein, after all.

I've pretty much cut soda from my diet permanently, except for sometimes having a diet coke. I've also cut down on Vitamin Water and I've been drinking more Fuze Healthy Infuzion drinks, which have like 5 calories, depending on what kind you buy.

Don't worry, I don't plan on becoming anorexic or bulimic or anything, I just know I need to be more healthy and I want to lose weight. I mean, I weight like 148 and I'm only 14. That's not good!

I'M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, FOOLS.